27th July 2009

Okay well have seen Al twice over the weekend, once when he took me and Jo to the wedding reception and when we went to the CMunch on Sunday.

When he saw my outfit for the wedding he did the whole wow thing, the skirt is wonderful and I love it, and he was affectionate and all...

Then on Sunday we all went to the CMunch and again he was affectionate to an extent but I still feel put out. When he was introducing me to people it was as his sub which does make me feel good but other than social settings he doesn't seem to want to see me at the moment and that makes me feel kinda crappy....

I wish I knew why, I know I have had issues the last few months and that he is going through a hard time both with life in general and with his relationship with Jo. I think it is cos of the way it has happened. He has stopped almost all contact other than organising stuff, he doesn't want to see me (as I said previously I don't even mind the no play thing) If he just wants a sub that would be fine, I don't need a romantic relationship, but then I would still want a bit more contact than this....

Anyway the demo at the CMunch was awesome... knifeplay... *drool* watching it was so hot, was just thinking WOW for most of it. I would love to have that done to me, it looked like a total mindfuck but still *drool*